If I had a choice, I wouldn't want this life either.
What is it about Prince Harry's story that is so riveting to us common folks? Is it morbid curiosity about the royal life? Or is it that we can all relate to dysfunctional families and it's hard to look away when it plays out on such a public stage?
It must not be easy to be Prince Harry. He lost his mother when he was just 12 years old, and instead of being protected by the adults in his life, he was forced to parade through London behind her coffin in some sort of bizarre show of stoic grief. At a time when he needed abundant love and support, his family became ever more uptight and withdrawn, with their motto of "never complain, never explain." I'm not sure how any child growing up in such circumstances could hope for happiness or even normalcy.
And yet, against all odds and with many missteps along the way, he grew up to be a soldier and dedicated public servant, and eventually found happiness with Meghan. But through it all, his family seemed determined to keep him silent and in his place, even at great personal cost to him and his wife.
Here finally is his chance to tell his story in his own words.
And the result is everything I could want in a memoir: heartfelt, reflective, and bracingly honest. Prince Harry doesn't shy away from talking about the mental and emotional toll of his unresolved grief for his mother nor addressing the controversial events of his life. But if you're hoping for jaw-dropping revelations or juicy gossip, this isn't it. I only follow royal news in passing, and there's nothing in here that really took me by surprise.
In approaching this, I'd heard a lot of commentary around why Prince Harry felt the need to write this memoir at all, especially when he and his wife have been so expressive about wanting privacy and peace for their family. But after having read this, it totally makes sense.
In psychology, there's this concept of the Real Self vs. the Ideal Self, which states that the bigger the gap between who we present to the world and who we really are on the inside, the more cognitive dissonance we feel; whereas the more aligned the two are, the happier we are. For so long, Prince Harry has been toeing the family line while being forced to keep silent about every mischaracterization and abuse printed about him and Meghan. Thus, the version of him that he showed to the world is not his authentic self. I imagine the mental anguish at having to pretend must wear one down, and it is freeing to finally show the world who he really is.
This memoir also has a heck of a love story, and I'm always up for one of those. I've very much respected Prince Harry ever since his deployment days and then seeing all the good that he has done for veterans with the Invictus Games. And while I didn't watch Suits, everything I've come to know about Meghan seems to indicate she is also worthy of my respect, using her fame to support women's rights and social justice. Every time I see them interact, it's clear their love for each other. So to read their love story is a joy, despite all the ugliness that was going on at the time.
For me, my personal philosophy has always been to live the life that is most authentic to who I am, and I certainly couldn't begrudge others doing the same. And so I must applaud Prince Harry for having the courage to live his best life and to share his story, even in the face of overwhelming opposition. Good for him.
Readaroo Rating: 4 stars
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