I know I shouldn't judge a book by its title, but The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires got me real good. It sounds like a fun, lighthearted take on slaying vampires, mixed in with some Southern hospitality and book club joviality. And it started out that way. But then it went somewhere else altogether.
If I were to sum up this book with one word, it would be gross. Every time I picked it up, I would read some passages on rats eating people alive, or cockroaches wiggling into ears, or blood-sucking appendages flopping out of mouths, and I just wanted to hide my eyes. One time I made the mistake of eating while reading (one of my favorite activity combos), and I couldn't get my gag reflexes to stop for a long time afterwards.
But it wasn't just the gore that turned me off. I also found this book to be overwritten. There were moments when it was supposed to be serious, like with the women rallying together or the bad guy taking a last stand, and I just cringed at the cheesy dialogue. It sounded so fake to me during what should've been emotionally pivotal moments.
And this book had the dumbest, most slow-witted characters I have ever read. When presented with evidence of something strange going on, they just refused to believe, over and over. Sure, in real life, if someone told me there's a vampire loose and they had evidence, I would be skeptical. But this is fiction! I don't want to spent 80% of the book reading about non-believers doubting and naysaying. What a downer.
But please don't let my review dissuade you. So many people have loved this book, so I think this is a serious case of this book just not being for this reader. However, not all is a loss. I do walk away with a new personal record: the longest time it has taken me to get through a book.
Readaroo Rating: 2 stars
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