Erin French is the chef of the critically acclaimed The Lost Kitchen, one of the most exclusive restaurants in the country, where the only way to get a seat is to mail in a postcard and be entered into their lottery. There, you will compete with the other 20,000 postcards that came in for a chance to eat at this small 40-seat restaurant during its open season.
Finding Freedom details Chef French's journey from a young age discovering her love of food and cooking, to her early adult life of being a struggling single mom, to her rock bottom years of prescription pill and alcohol addiction, to becoming the successful woman that she is today. This was a journey fraught with peril and heartbreak, but also with healing and redemption.
A memoir is such a personal experience, and you can tell that French put her heart and soul into this. She went through some extremely traumatic experiences in her life, and it must have been hard to put it all in writing and to be so open to judgement and criticism. Yet she was brutally honest and often spent a lot of time on introspection to figure out her own role in what transpired. I admire her honesty and her unflinching ability to look at herself, something that is not easy for anyone to do, let alone in such a public forum.
But I had a few issues with this book that prevented me from connecting with it more. For one thing, her writing style is extremely descriptive and detailed. For example, if she's talking about her restaurant, she would describe everything about it, including its wall color, countertops, chairs and tables, lighting choices, silverware, napkins, plates and bowls, etc., leaving no detail unmentioned. That, plus her preference for long unbroken paragraphs, means that it's not unusual to turn to a new page, see a wall of text of nothing but descriptions. It made it hard for me to keep my attention, and when it did wander, I had trouble remembering where I was in the paragraph.
For a memoir, there's also a noticeable lack of anecdotes, especially towards the second half of the book. For example, she often talks about her son, but there isn't a single thing I remember about him because she never shared anything concrete. Or she often mentions that she and her sister don't get along, but didn't actually give any examples of what happened. Instead, she tells her story mostly through introspection, with events quickly summarized so that she can get to her thoughts and feelings on it, which is where she really spends the bulk of her time.
It was also extremely hard to read what happened to her. She grew up surrounded by toxic people and relationships. Instead of setting boundaries, she only knew how to enabled these people and to grab on ever harder, seeking their approval and affection. Then, when she became an adult, those were the only kinds of relationships she knew how to have and she went on to replicate them. It was really frustrating to see this happen when she was young, but it was even more so once she became an adult and continued in this toxic environment.
This is a very dark book, and I didn't realize going in that it would be so. What I thought I was getting is an inspirational story about a struggling chef finally making it in the culinary world, along with interesting tidbits of what it's like to be this profession. Instead this is really an addict's story of growing up in an abusive household, not learning the necessary skills to cope, and then using drugs and alcohol to do it. It's about hitting absolute rock bottom and then starting the long slow climb out into the light.
After everything she's been through, I'm glad Erin French got the success she worked so hard for. While I didn't completely connect with her memoir, I do think her restaurant sounds amazing, and I hope one day to have the chance to try it for myself.
Readaroo Rating: 3 stars
My heartfelt thanks for the advance copy that was provided for my honest and unbiased review.