Review - 'The Heart Principle' by Helen Hoang

I don't even know how to begin to rate or review this book, because this isn't the story I signed up to read.

First and foremost, I do want to thank Helen Hoang for being courageous enough to write this story. It's clear that this is a deeply personal book for her, and in the author's note, she said as much, calling this "half a memoir."

I went into this expecting a sweet and heartfelt romance. I'd read both of Hoang's previous two books, and loved them for their diverse and nuanced depiction of people on the autism spectrum. For a condition that's fairly common, the representation of neuroatypical main characters in books and movies is woefully lacking, which is why I found Hoang's books particularly refreshing.

But that isn't the main focus of this book, not by a long shot. Instead, this book should've come with a long list of trigger warnings, including abuse and bullying from family members, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, going against a loved one's wishes during end of life, caregiver burnout, and suicidal thoughts, just to name a few.

The way Asian culture is portrayed in this book, in particular the way Anna's mom and sister disregarded her autonomy at every opportunity and actively worked to keep her mentally beaten down so that she would comply with their wishes, is so accurate as to be too much for me to handle. It hits too close to home. While reading this, I was so distraught I felt almost physically ill.

Can anyone actually remain emotionally in control while reading a story reenacting trauma they themselves have experienced or have watched people they love be subjected to and are still recovering from? If you can, you are a stronger person than I am.

How can I even think about this book in the context of a romance? Whenever Quan and Anna are together, it's beautiful, but other than the initial setup, it was just a few pages here and there. The romantic and sexy scenes, when they did show up, felt so jarring against the otherwise darkness that is this story.

I made it all the way to the end of this book, but I shouldn't have started. It reopened wounds I'm working hard to heal and move on from. I felt like I was being sliced open from the inside, and it was traumatic and distressing.

I think most readers will love this book and appreciate its unflinching and truthful portrayal. But my personal experiences make me unable to enjoy it.

Readaroo Rating: None

This was my Book of the Month pick for August. If you're curious about BOTM or want to find out how to get your first book for $5, click here.