Review - 'Beach Read' by Emily Henry


His eyes were doing the thing, the Gus thing . . . and it made my chest flutter almost painfully.
I don't get it. What am I missing here?

Beach Read originally caught my eye because its premise reminded me of Summer Villa, one of my favorite Hallmark movies. I know, I'm publicly admitting to being a sappy romantic at heart. And I'm proud of it. So why couldn't I get into this story at all?

For one, I didn't feel any chemistry between January and Gus. Nothing. Their interactions are so awkward and stilted, it was almost painful. They'll say mundane and platonic things to each other, and then sporadically, January will remind us that heat is filling her abdomen or pooling between her legs, and I'm like, Eh? I can't imagine how two people could possibly fall in love or lust while saying such bland things to each other.

This is the second book I've read by Emily Henry, and I've noticed that her female characters tend to be very twee and precious. They have extremely high expectations of what love is, need to be constantly reassured, and freak out at the smallest blip. At one point, January sees Gus's ex at a public event and she wants to scream and cry, before the woman has even said or done anything. And what's up with calling herself "dumb bunny"? Not to mention, she spends the entire time being upset with her dad over something that was none of her business. Suffice to say, it's all very exhausting.

As for Gus, we are told over and over that he has a crooked mouth and messy hair, wears rumpled and faded clothes, and has a sexy/evil look (what does that even mean?). Otherwise, his only characteristics are that he writes novels, and he adores January for no reasons that I could discern.

The writing style is fluffed out to the excess. There is so much mundane details about every event/non-event, from the multiple-page conversations on should they go or not go, to the logistical details (transportation/gift bringing/preferred topics of conversation) to the minutiae of everything that happens while at the event. And in between, every step of the way, it is interspersed with information on how January is feeling, how she thinks Gus must be feeling, and what this means for their relationship.

They are also constantly affirming what great people the other one is. Gus is dark and broken, but great! January is a fairy princess and a bright light, but great too! And they keep checking in to see if the other is happy. Like, are you happy? I am, are you happy? The conversations were so cheesy and trite, I was crying on the inside.

A good portion of this book is spent on the details of the stories they are each writing and their related research. One is a love story that takes place in a cult and the other is a love story that takes place... in a circus with clowns? I don't even know what I'm reading anymore.

Where is the flirty banter, the sexual tension, the obstacles to overcome? I kept waiting for something exciting to happen, or some interesting dialog, or some insight from this story. But nada. I'll be honest, this is one of the most boring books I've ever read.

My criteria for a romcom isn't that high. I want romance and comedy, but this book didn't satisfy either. I neither swooned nor laughed. I was mostly exhausted from boredom while waiting for this dull story to be over.

Readaroo Rating: 1 star

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